


Borrowed Love

by kimjunhoe



Series: A Game Called Marriage [3]
Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, Same-Sex Marriage, Surrogacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:00:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23312005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimjunhoe/pseuds/kimjunhoe
Summary: vulnerable/ˈvʌln(ə)rəb(ə)l/exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.(of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Series: A Game Called Marriage [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1287395
Comments: 42
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you have yet to read Part 1 and Part 2 from this series, you might need to so you will understand the characters better ;p

“So, are we set on this? Are we really doing this Jiwon?” Junhoe could not contain the glee in his heart. It has been a long time coming

“Why not? We have been together for six years now and we are emotionally and mentally ready.” Jiwon hugged Junhoe tight and squished him. “We are more matured, and we have a great support system so… it is time”

Jiwon felt his broad shoulder greeted with warm tears. Jiwon slowly pulled Junhoe away and cooed at him. “Why the tears baby?”

“I am just so happy. Words cannot describe the emotion I am feeling now, and I cannot wait to break the news to our family later. I love you Jiwon! This is a dream come true.” Junhoe hooked his chin over Jiwon’s shoulder and continued to blissfully sob. 

Jiwon looked out of their bay window to mentally capture this perfect day. The mood outside matched their sentiments. The sun rays piercing through the fluffiest white cloud, the leaves in their garden gently swaying in the breeze and Jiwon could swear he hears the bird singing.

Just like Junhoe mentioned, it was a long time coming. “Junhoe, stop crying. Let us get in the shower and get ready for dinner. We are meeting them for dinner in an hour! My parents will be so glad there will be another KIM joining them!”

The red hue spread across Junhoe’s cheeks like a wildfire and that was Jiwon’s cue. Jiwon leaned in planted a kiss on Junhoe's lips and let it linger to silently say _I am here, thank you, I love you._ It seems Junhoe understood it and he burst into tears again as he pulled Jiwon closer for comfort. “Thank you Jiwon. Thank you”

Deep down, Junhoe knew he did not deserve Jiwon, his love and even his amazing family. In this relationship, Junhoe receives while Jiwon tirelessly keeps giving. Junhoe was a broken man when he first met Jiwon yet single handedly, Jiwon built him up bit by bit into the confident man he is now.

Nowadays he walks tall and proud knowing he is Jiwon’s husband and nothing in this world could pry Junhoe away from Jiwon and vice versa. The years that passed were strange to say the least. Getting married as strangers, having a second wedding for Jiwon’s family, reuniting with his _Keunsamchon_ and wife, frequent travels and Oh, his beautiful cousin whom he adores, turned out to be his biological sister. His life seems like it was written for an angst novel.

Despite the whirlwind episodes, Jiwon stood steadfast, loving Junhoe unconditionally. Providing him the emotional support he was deprived of all these years. Now they will be on a journey to welcome kids into their lives, Junhoe was now worried that he would not be the best parent ever.

“Baby, why are you zoning out?” Jiwon was worried Junhoe was bogged down with unnecessary worries. It took them a long time to derive to this decision and Jiwon would gladly back out if this will not be the best situation for Junhoe. “Are you worried, my love?”

“I am, I am not going to lie to you. I worry I will be a bad father but I know Dr Kim said to take a time out whenever I think the worst of myself. Breathe in and out calmly and hug you for comfort”

“I love that Dr Song added the last one. I was sure he did say that having sex would be the best right?” Jiwon had the cheekiest look on his face and Junhoe could not help but to throw a pillow at his direction. 

“I clearly do not recall ANYTHIING about having sex to seek comfort, is not that a superficial solution?” Junhoe teased Jiwon.

“No no no. How could that be?” Jiwon acted all innocent. “Sexual bonding between spouses has been proven to be healing and comforting and it would be the best way to forget your worries.” Jiwon slowly approached Junhoe and tried to unbutton Junhoe’s shirt

“No Jiwon! Not today, we need to call our elders and reserve a table asap cause your brother will be leaving for UK tomorrow”

“OK FINE. You owe me. Tonight. Be here or be square”

Junhoe laughed at Jiwon lameness. Yet, this lame guy is someone Junhoe will not want to ever be separated from. Even if the Gods wish to take Jiwon away, Junhoe will find ways to defy it. No one can take Jiwon away from Junhoe.

  
  
  
  


_*_ _*Keunsamchon_ _– Father’s older brother_

* * *

“Baby, is this weird? Have you really moved past Yejin?” Jiwon asked Junhoe as gently as he could. He knew this was not a conversation to have in the car but if it turned sour, he could just continue to drive in circles to calm Junhoe down. “I know it has been years since you found out but what we will be asking from her is something so monumental, I worry you might be uncomfortable with the arrangements”

Junhoe did not answer Jiwon and looked out of the window instead. Junhoe let out a sharp exhale, counted his blessings with Jiwon and tried to calm down. “Why are you bringing this up?” Junhoe’s past was a vague and foggy moment now. To him Jiwon and their future babies will take the centre stage of his life. No one else.

“I want to make sure my baby is fine. That is all. We need her more than ever and I want to make sure you are accepting this” Jiwon’s mind was now racing to find a way to appease Junhoe in case he gets upset about it. _Damn I should have waited till tomorrow to ask Junhoe this._

“Trust me Baby. I have moved on. I really did. Was I bothered when I found out Yejin was my biological sister? NO. I loved her as a cousin and her being my sister made it extra wonderful. Was I upset that she was given to _Keunsamchon_ as a baby? Yes. I could just imagine how my mum could have felt to have her first child taken away. Was I angry that _Keunsamchon_ did not choose to take me in after my parent’s death?” Junhoe paused for a bit to process his feelings. Tears gathered but he was trying his best to fight them off. 

“I honestly was upset when I found out they had a choice, but I AM not. They were not in good shape and I ended up pitying Yejin. Who would have expected _Keunsamchon_ business to get worse while my dad’s became better? I had an amazing childhood till the day God called upon them. Yejin had to struggle growing up and if _Keunsamchon_ took me in, Yejin would have suffered more. _Keunsamchon_ earned a pitiful wage and if he took care of the both of us? Suicidal. Despite all that, they did not even mishandle or use a single cent of my inheritance. I was glad his share of his inheritance was enough to help him to pay off all his debts, but they were still in bad shape though”

Jiwon squeezed Junhoe’s hand for moral support but he knew he was the one who asked the question. Although it might hurt Junhoe, he needs to know how and what Junhoe was feeling all the time to make sure he can do his best to be the best partner. “I am glad that you have accepted your past and it seems they were genuinely guilty for not being able to take you in as well. I could still remember the day when both you and Yejin found out the truth. That was definitely an intense moment”

“I am Jiwon, trust me. I have come to terms with it. I am thankful it was me growing up in the orphanage and not _Noona_. I loved her too much to even imagine her being in there with me. And I know she also feels bad that I was abandoned, and we had a talk and I assured her I am okay. I really am Jiwon” Junhoe relaxed into his seat and tried to not agitate himself. He was so worried that their intention was to tap into Jiwon’s wealth but not once since they got married did they even ask for a single cent. Instead, they repaired what was broken and Junhoe now feels like his _Keunsamchon_ and wife are his own parents. Life was just great

“I know. I am here for you ok. I love you for your past, I love you for your present. I love you for your future” Jiwon quickly kissed Junhoe just before the lights turned green.

“I love you too Jiwon. Don’t ever leave me” 

“Never”


	2. Chapter 2

The silence in the air was deafening. The silence hung above them suffocating each of the Kim – Koo family members. All nine of them were seated in a VIP room of an Italian restaurant Jiwon’s mum selected. They were passing food between each other without exchanging any words while Jiwon and Junhoe were a bunch of jittery nerves. Their guests could sense it too. Not wanting to spoil the mood, they awkwardly decided to only speak when the two fools decided to break their news. 

“Can we serve the main course now?” the server came to ask and Junhoe realised his appetisers were left untouched. How could he when his hand was grabbing unto Jiwon’s under the table, out of their family’s sight. 

“Sure” Jiwon replied coolly and Junhoe could feel Jiwon letting go of his hand. Junhoe started to panic when he realised this could be the pivotal moment that will change their life. Junhoe took quick breaths, almost hyperventilating at the dinner table itself.

“Aga, are you okay? You are making me so nervous.” Mrs Koo, Junhoe’s _sukmo_ , finally broke the silence. “AH JINJJA!! Just tell us. It is so miserable pretending that we don’t know you guys are going to surprise us with good news!!” 

“ _Eomma_!!!” Yejin called out her mum softly. 

“It’s okay Yejin. I was getting annoyed too. I am happy your mum said something. If she did not, they would just keep mum and we would have the _best_ dining experience ever” Jiun’s words were dripping with sarcasm and Yejin could not help but to laugh at it.

Jiwon and Junhoe exchanged glances and Jiwon took a deep breath and gripped Junhoe’s hand tighter. Jiwon closed his eyes, did a quick prayer and he finally gathered enough courage to finally break the news to their loved ones. The sight of their faces intensively staring at them was amusing to say the least. “We have great news to share –”

“We know!!! What is it!” 

“We… are going to be the Kims”

The table went silent with confusion. “Huh?”

“Kimssss”

“Seriously what the hell are you trying to say? Junhoe has been a Kim for a while now” Jiun’s annoyance was building up. Maybe it was Jiwon’s lame attempt to surprise them or maybe it was the fight he just had with his wife. “Jiwon, SPILL!”

“We are going to be three. Or maybe four. Kimsss” Junhoe answered with a whisper

Junhoe’s aunt and Jiwon’s mum leapt out of their chair and they hugged each other fighting back tears of joy. “Our Agas are having their own baby. Junhoe _Sukmonim_ , did you hear that?” “Yes Jiwon _Eommonim_. I am going to be a grandma. No, WE are going to be grandmas!!”

The male figures did not share the same enthusiasm as the mothers. They just calmly shook Junhoe and Jiwon’s hand, hugged and patted them on their back. Jiun, Faith and Yejin were now on their handphones updating their Social Media of the news. 

_Raon is getting a cousin/s_

_My brother is going to be a dad. Poor Child. Kekeke. It will be amazing cause the child’s Uncle is amazing._

_OMO, my baby brother is having a baby. #KooJunhoe #KimJunhoe #KimBabies #AuntYeJin #YeJinEemo #IAmSoHappy #MumIsCrying @BrunosItalianPlace @tkwpcnfak @bobbyranika_

The Koo / Kim clan celebrated for a while and finally settled down upon catching sight of their main course being served. The food was left untouched as the table was still buzzing with excitement from Jiwon’s announcement. Jiwon cleared his throat and spoke again. “We need to ask Yejin _Cheohyeongnim_ for something though.”

The table went dead silent as the ladies’ glares pierced through Jiwon making him uncomfortable. Jiwon squirmed in his seat trying to anticipate their reactions. “We were planning to go through the surrogacy route and one of the suggestions was to use an egg from Junhoe’s family so the baby will still share his DNA, family traits and definitely the Koos amazing looks. We were wondering if Yejin _Cheohyeongnim_ will be able to donate us your eggs so it can be fertilized by my swimmers”

“Aigoo! Jiwon, what kind of topic is this” Jiwon’s mum was dying of embarrassment. “Junhoe _Sukmonim_ , I am sorry my son is so direct. I can’t believe he is talking about his swimmers over dinner”

“It is ok. We are talking about our grandkid here; he can talk about his swimmers all night long” Mrs Koo’s statement left the table bursting into laughter. Mrs Koo turned her attention back to the couple and asked earnestly. “But Yejin is getting married soon, her in-laws would not be thrilled at the sight of a pregnant Yejin walking down the aisle”

“Sukmo… we are just asking for her eggs; the surrogacy will be done by another lady. There’s a whole process to go through. Interviews, meeting the lawyers, planting the embryo, trying again if it fails and so on and so forth. Securing the egg donor is quite important, we can have an anonymous donor but like what Jiwon said, it will be great if the baby can have our features too. Such a waste if my genes goes to waste” Junhoe placed his hand on his aunt’s palm to assure her that they know what they are doing. “Since both the Kims are boys, Yejin Noona was the only option. We did think about using my swimmers with Faith _Hyungsoonim_ , seeing how Raon is so cute, but then there won’t be any Jiwon in the baby. So, the only solution would be Jiwon’s and Noona’s. I know it sounds weird but trust us, it is only meant for the DNA sequencing”

“Sure”

With just a word from Yejin, the table went wild again with celebrations.

_** Sukmo – Wife to keun-samchon_

_++ Cheohyeong - Junhoe’s sister title for Jiwon_

_^^Hyeong-soonim - Faith’s title for Junhoe_

* * *

“Good Night _Eomma_ , we will call when we reach home” Jiwon whispered in his mum’s ear ever so gently. Ever since Jiwon settled permanently in Seoul, his parents have been visiting them quite often. It could be the loneliness from living in their huge ass mansion but Jiwon was not complaining. He loves their visits and how they have been bonding with Junhoe

Jiun comes back to Seoul biannually to visit Faith’s parents and Raon is just the cutest bundle of Joy. Everyone is getting closer and chummier despite living across the globe. Marriage with Junhoe was amazing. Junhoe was the missing piece the Kims needed. Being married made Jiwon more grounded and level-headed and it made his parents realised that being gay was never an issue to be a successful heir. With his parents trusting Jiwon more, they got off Jiun’s back for not being interested which makes Jiun more open to meet up with his parents often. With their company being well taken care of by Jiwon and Jiun side by side, his parents manage to slowly let go of the reigns and enjoy their retirement. Everyday, Junhoe and Mrs Kim would be on the phone just talking about life. Junhoe grew up without a mum and Mrs Kim lived a life with two sons growing up too fast while she was away for work.

Now the thought of having kids makes Jiwon giddy with the possibility of his parents settling down in Seoul permanently too. It would be amazing to have them with them, but he knew his parents are now more comfortable with the American lifestyle.

After bidding goodbyes, exchanging kisses and the last round of congratulating hugs, Jiwon and Junhoe slowly drove off back to their home. They no longer live in Jiwon’s penthouse. They relocated to a “modest” home in the suburbs. Modest in Mrs Kim’s eyes, huge house by normal standards. With a huge sprawling garden, nine bedrooms, eleven bathrooms, almost ten thousand square feet, huge outdoor pool and a beautiful marbled kitchen for their cook to work in.

Junhoe would never have assumed his wedding gift from Jiwon’s parents would be this monstrosity of a house. He assumed it would be a crystal vase, shopping vouchers, and maybe throw in some pots and pans. When Jiwon’s parents unveiled this to them, Junhoe nearly shat in his pants. While Junhoe was freaking out, Jiwon looked like he just received a book. Expressionless and just a simple handshake and a hug. 

When Junhoe finally made the trip to the States, he finally understood why their mansion was considered a modest size for Mrs Kim. Jiwon’s parent's home was twice their size and they even had an indoor pool. Jiun’s home in the UK was slightly smaller since property was crazy pricey there. But still!! Junhoe had to grasp the situation that now he belongs to the rich tier and not a boy from the orphanage anymore.

Junhoe silently sat in the car still reeling in from the evening. The love they received from their family was overwhelmingly amazing. Junhoe closed his eyes and started to hum as the night wind blew on his face.

“Jiwon, I swear I will try to be the best dad to our children. Growing up without parents, finding out your cousin was your sister and reconciling was ok for ME and I have no regrets. But if i have any say to it, I will never want my children to face the same kind of ordeal i had. Abandonment, trust issues, abuse being cheated on…. no… I want them to have a better life than I had. I hope they get to grow up being whoever and whatever they want to be. Do you think that is possible?

“Sure Baby, I will make sure our lawyer will draft an ironclad will for them so they will never have to worry about their future. School will be decided upon birth, their trust funds, their future education, wedding, home… EVERYTHING will be arranged for them. So even if we were to die --”

“JIWON! You know I hate that word!!” Junhoe accidentally raised his voice at his husband. The thought of living a life without Jiwon was too heartbreaking.

“I am sorry, I truly am, but we will have to discuss this thoroughly with the lawyers and also in the event if we get a divor--”

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” Junhoe wished he could control his emotions better but he failed. It hurts to think of the inevitable. Whenever Jiwon had to travel for work, Junhoe would be a wreck worrying sick about separation, death, divorce, infidelity, sickness and poverty. Every night they spend a part, would be hell for Junhoe. Jiwon was the only man in this world that sheltered, provided and loved Junhoe as much as he did. Being damaged by Hans took its toll and Jiwon healed him. What if Jiwon is no longer around, what will happen to Junhoe’s heart? 

Deep down Junhoe knows the answer. Junhoe would lose the will to live without Jiwon.


	3. Chapter 3

Jiwon gently strokes Junhoe’s arm as he watches him sleep peacefully. A stranger he saved a few years ago is now his everything. Junhoe has been consistently seeing Dr Song and his progression has been on the positive side. Although he is improving, Jiwon cannot deny that Junhoe has his moments. It tears Jiwon apart whenever he views Junhoe via the CCTV while he is away.

The sight of his baby curling up and bawling his eyes out was never easy for Jiwon. He made arrangements to travel less or to make sure he brings Junhoe along. It was upsetting to see a beautiful and innocent soul like Junhoe being reduced to a shell. What Hans did to him was irreversible and Jiwon cursed the day Hans laid eyes on Junhoe. 

The only way Jiwon could prove to Junhoe that he truly appreciated Junhoe was to take one day at a time, being sensitive to his mood swings and never raising his voice at Junhoe. It could be exhausting at times but Jiwon knew that was the least he could do as a husband.

Junhoe became better in the third year in their marriage. He was more cheerful, he invited Jinhwan over often and he even enrolled in some classes to kill time. Self defence classes, yoga, cooking and even singing. Jiwon would not have expected Junhoe to possess the voice of an angel and he agreed 1000% when Junhoe wanted to sign up for a music class.

It has been a great journey together. Even the bad times. Last year, Junhoe confessed that he felt empty even when he was by Jiwon’s side. Jiwon was worried he was not doing his part to give Junhoe a fullfilling life. It took a while before Jiwon noticed Junhoe would have his eyes fixed at babies passing by or he would be filled with laughter whenever Raon came to visit and that was when he realised Junhoe wanted to expand their family. 

After the first few discussions for their family, Junhoe immediately signed himself up for CPR, went for extra counselling sessions (to prove that he is ready and emotionally stable to parent children) and bought a library of books for first time parents Jiwon could not have been prouder that Junhoe took the initiative by himself and was more jovial.

How could you harm a soul like this? That is the question Jiwon would love to throw (and punch) at Hans’ face.

Junhoe stirred in his sleep and snuggled against Jiwon like a little kitten seeking warmth on a cold day. Jiwon leaned in and whispered to Junhoe “I love you kitty”

“I love you too”

“You are not asleep?” Jiwon felt guilty for waking Junhoe up from his slumber

“Not really, been in and out of sleep. I am nervous for tomorrow. Lawyer’s then the fertility clinic for Yejin first appointment. Hope she is healthy and have enough eggs to spare”

“She will. It will be fine. Trust me” Jiwon prayed in his heart that everything will go smoothly tomorrow. 

Junhoe yawned and stretched his long limbs and went back to sleep. Purring in his sleep beautifully. Jiwon offered one last prayer and joined Junhoe in dreamland. For tomorrow will be a new era for them and Jiwon cannot wait.

* * *

Jiwon and Junhoe were finally in the lawyer’s office and Junhoe could have sworn he fainted and regained consciousness. He has always been nervous to meet lawyers, ever since his first encounter with them after his parents death. Although ever since he married Jiwon, meeting the lawyer seems to be a good thing; Jiwon transferring some shares of heir company to him, receiving their home from his in-laws and now this. As nervous as he is, he realises this was for their future children.

“Take a seat, make yourself comfy as we have a few things to discuss.” their lawyer unbuttoned and smoothen his coat and sat down in his chair suddenly looking all serious. Junhoe gulped his nerves down and was amazed at how calm and composed Jiwon looked. It was obvious Jiwon belongs to the corporate world. Somehow imagining Jiwon negotiating and dealing with other businessmen calmed Junhoe down. Jiwon would be the most perfect candidate to do this. 

Junhoe looked around the room and wondered to himself, the frequency of Jiwon’s visits here, how would he normally look as he went through his legal documents, will he pound the table with his fist if he is unhappy with the terms and conditions, does he scream at them, hurl files at their directions. Or is he an amazing employer, one who is loved by all?

Suddenly a thought of being fucked on the board room table flashed in Junhoe's mind and now he was embarrassed. Imagining his wrists being tied by Jiwon’s silk ties, bending over the table in pure submission.Junhoe would be glad to be stuffed by Jiwon’s sock if that is what it would take to not scream out loud. Junhoe closed his eyes and let his mind wander for a bit and his groin started to tingle. _Fuck, Jiwon I am so fucking hard_.

“Baby?” Jiwon patted Junhoe on his thigh bringing Junhoe back to reality. “You okay? Are you having a migraine?” Jiwon looked genuinely concerned for Junhoe making it harder for Junhoe to contain his laughter.

“Erm.. I guess it is a bit cold in here and I think i need the coffee soon” Junhoe lied through his teeth and smiled

“I am sorry, let me check what the hell is causing the delay” their lawyer stood up and left the room in search for coffee for Junhoe

“Are you sure you are okay? You looked like you were about to black out just now, made me worried for a second” Jiwon started to fuss over Junhoe

“Actually I kind of blacked out… in a sense. I was taken away by the idea of being fucked by you in your meeting room. It was wild” Junhoe admitted

“Baby. You can come to my office anytime. You know it is my job to make your dream come through right?” Jiwon placed his hand on Junhoe thigh and moved upward and his hand was greeted by a bulge. “Fuck, you making me want to fuck you here but we should not. Why are you making me crazy like this?”

“Are you angry?” Junhoe was worried he just spoiled Jiwon’s mood to be serious with their lawyer.

“I am angry that my dick is still in my pants and not in your ass right now. Just imagining your milky skin gleaming from all the lighting in my meeting room, what a glorious thought.” Jiwon rested his hand on the bulge and stroked it ever so gently to tease his husband. “It is your fault you know, for turning me on. Now how are you going to calm it down”

Junhoe leaned in anticipating a ravenous Jiwon to welcome his lips. Jiwon’s hand was still delicately on his dick as Junhoe shut his eyes counting down the seconds. Junhoe parts his lips then he felt Jiwon shoving him away. “What the???!!!”


	4. Chapter 4

Junhoe hears their lawyer clearing his throat loudly at them and Junhoe immediately retreated to his upright sitting position. _Fuck, Jiwon must be embarassed by me._ Junhoe clenched his jaw waiting for Jiwon to chide him.

“Well as you can see my husband is too attractive and I just can’t get my hands off him, Sorry for the inappropriateness and I promise I will behave.” Jiwon squeezed Junhoe's hand and winked at Junhoe. “So shall we proceed with the requirements for the surrogate?”

“Sure Mr Kim, I have listed all the requirements, payments and the period she is allowed to stay after giving birth and future assistance as well”

Jiwon scanned through the document while nodding and hmm-ing away. Junhoe was curious about the stipulated clauses but he decided to just stay calm. Junhoe tried to take a sneak peek but there were too many words and he decided to give up.

“Ok let me discuss with my husband in layman’s terms while you bear witness to me explaining them and correct me if I misconstrued the clauses.” Jiwon stopped and turn his chair facing Junhoe

“So baby, as we discussed yesterday--”

“This was what we discussed yesterday? And The lawyer already drafted it up?” Junhoe was amazed

The lawyer interrupted the lovebirds, “Mr Kim placed efficiency as the most important quality for his staff. He sent me a rough guide and I drafted this up, there might be things you may want to add or omit, just tell me”

  
  


Jiwon looked slightly annoyed he was interrupted but he let it slide. It seems Jiwon at home and Jiwon at work are two different people. Junhoe shook off his dirty thoughts fast. “Sure, explained to me”

  * Surrogate will move in with **THE KIMS** once pregnancy tested positive
  * Upfront payment of USD 20,000. USD 5,000 monthly till birth, USD 35,000 upon birth. Additional USD 20,00 per babies after the firstborn for multiple births
  * If Surrogate were to miscarry, Surrogate would be reimbursed one time fee of USD 10,000. 
  * If Miscarry was due to negligence by Surrogate, the one time fee will be forfeited
  * In case of a Stillbirth, one time fee of USD 20,000
  * Surrogate will go through Cesarean procedure. Normal Birth is not an option
  * Procedures, monthly check ups, supplements will be provided by **THE KIMS**
  * Surrogate will live in with us up to a year if need be if baby/ies require wet nurse
  * Surrogate is not required to babysit nor clean up after the baby. To nurse ONLY 
  * If baby/ies refused to be nursed anymore, surrogate will no longer live in with us
  * Surrogate is not allowed to bring baby/ies out on her own. (Refer to Clause 4) 
  * No leakage of THE KIMS personal life to any person and/or tabloids
  * No leaking of any of Professional Plans of Kim Conglomerate to any competitor and/or tabloids



“Anything to add, baby?” Jiwon was quite pleased with what was written up and he knew Junhoe would agree too.

“All payments will be forfeited if caught sleeping with Kim Jiwon” Junhoe said it so coldly, Jiwon and the lawyer were taken aback.

Just as the lawyer was to interrupt, Jiwon stopped the lawyer before he could say anything. “Add that to the clause and please include Koo Junhoe as well.”

“Why me?” Junhoe was stunned by Jiwon’s counter

“Well, you are still a gorgeous man with a penis and as much as you worry about me, I worry about you too. So, please add that in” Jiwon matched Junhoe’s cold eyes and gestured to their lawyer to take notes.

Junhoe kept quiet and prayed this is not an ominous beginning of their surrogacy journey.

* * *

Jiwon and Junhoe arrived home with great news that Yejin was a perfect candidate as an egg donor but they celebrated the news flatly. Junhoe was still on the phone while Jiwon was patiently waiting for the call to end.

Jiwon headed to his home office and sat on his luxurious customised leather seat. He hung his head back and closed his eyes and sighed in resignation. Jiwon sat there for a good minute before Junhoe came in looking for him.

Junhoe came with reluctant steps and sat across the table facing Jiwon square in the eyes. “I guess I embarrassed you in front of your staff. I am sorry.”

“I guess I am disappointed, not embarrassed. I don’t know what I did to warrant you adding that clause but I respect it and I am confident I will not breach it. But it hurts me to think that you had that thought in you”

“I am sorry, I was scared to lose you although I was the one who suggested for the surrogate to live with us. I really was and I did not expect that it would really translate to a legal thingy” Junhoe deeply regretted it yet a small part of him was glad he did that. Junhoe was still battling with his own battles and now he dragged Jiwon in it. 

Jiwon stood up and walked around the table and got on one knee by Junhoe and took his hand in his. “Baby, I know words cannot erase your past with Hans, it cannot heal the pain and it cannot regain your wasted youth, but i love you unconditionally. You know that right?”

Jiwon looked up and looked into Junhoe’s eyes hoping Junhoe could see that he was speaking the truth and not just empty promises. “We have been married for six years now and every day we spend together is a gift for me. Don’t you know that?”

“Look, I am a man of my words and have I ever hurt you? Mentally, emotionally or even physically” Jiwon asked with so much sincerity that Junhoe burst into tears. “I love you. Please don’t ever doubt my love. I promise that every day with me, will just be living proof of my love for you. I know that it may take decades for you to finally be broken from your haunting past, but I will be with you every step of the way, shackled and free.”

Junhoe lowered his body to hug Jiwon. “I know. I shouldn’t ever compare you with Hans but I … Jiwon?” Junhoe stopped in his track of thoughts as he could feel Jiwon lowering his zipper. “What the? I was just apologizing”

“Continue, I am just freeing your dick from his shackles.”

“Jiwon, I thought we were having a moment here”

“I am having my moment too. Hush, look!! We are in my office” Jiwon winked at Junhoe and pushed Junhoe’s resisting hands away. “You sit back and relax, and remind me again what you said to me in the lawyer’s office just now”

“I was thinking of how you were having your way with me when I visite--” Junhoe moaned as his throbbing dick was now in Jiwon’s warm mouth. “Jiwon…”

“Continue, what else?” Jiwon’s words were muffled as he took in Junhoe’s dick but Junhoe fully understood what he said.

“Erm… you were wearing a suit, silk tieeeeee-----” Junhoe squirmed in his seat as Jiwon took his balls in his hands and applied gentle pressure just how he liked it. “Tie my hand together and… Jiwon I cannot concentrate with you sucking my dick”

“Do you think I care if you can concentrate or not? I am the boss and you continue your presentation please”

Jiwon mercilessly bobbed his head faster taking in inch by inch gloriously. Junhoe was a stuttering mess and it was turning Jiwon on. Jiwon swirled his tongue around Junhoe’s tip and teased his slit with his playful tongue. Jiwon then continued sucking just on Junhoe’s tip as he gripped his hand around Junhoe’s girth and moved his hand up and down rhythmically. With his free hand, he loosened his tie without Junhoe noticing. Poor baby had his head tilt back, getting his dick sucked while trying to remind Jiwon of his fantasy just now.

“...bend over the table and had a ssooooooooooock, Jiwon please you know I am sensitive there” Jiwon ignored Junhoe and gestured with his hand for Junhoe to continue. “Then you pound me from the back”

Jiwon finally stopped sucking on Junhoe’s dick and assisted Junhoe to stand up. “Turn around, hands at the back.” Jiwon obediently listened and hopped as he turned. His pants were around his ankles and his movements were restricted. Junhoe placed his hands to his back and his wrists were welcomed by the cool silkiness of Jiwon’s tie. Junhoe softly gasped as goosebumps took over his skin.

Jiwon didn’t let go of Junhoe’s hand and bend Junhoe gently over his desk.Junhoe’s nipples hardened upon coming in contact with Jiwon's marbled desk. “I am not going to stuff my sock in your mouth cause I want to hear you scream as loud as you can. I don’t even care if the ahjumma in the kitchen or our drivers hears you screaming my name”

“But Jiwon, your office is sound proofed”

“Seriously Junhoe! Can you just entertain the dirty talk?” Jiwon wanted to laugh but he don’t want to lose the sexual momentum,

“Sorry”

Jiwon refocused and unzipped his pants just enough to release his dick, he was still imagining he was in his office with his staff loitering around instead of them in their home. He teased Junhoe’s entrance by rubbing his dick without entry.

“Now please.” Junhoe’s pleas were so sexy Jiwon actually shivered.

Jiwon didn’t prepare Junhoe for his penetration and introduced his dick into him so suddenly that it made Junhoe howled in pleasured pain. Jiwon took out his dick fully and penetrated deep again. Once in, he let it linger and pulled it out again. 

Jiwon stared at the gaping hole his dick made and smirked, he knew Junhoe was impatient like that and he waited. Jiwon entered again and pulled out again. “Jiwon please.”

“Please what? I don't understand.” Jiwon punctuated his sentence by penetrating Junhoe so deep Junhoe body stiffened under the invasion. Junhoe desperately grinded against Jiwon’s dick. Junhoe wanted the friction, the pleasure that Jiwon was depriving him so bad but Jiwon withdrew his dick again.

“Jiwon please”. Junhoe was obediently still bent over.

Jiwon walked to his seat and sat down while his eyes admired Junhoe’s body with his ass jutting in the air waiting for his dick. “Come here”. With that command, Junhoe straightened his back, kicked his pants away and walked over to Jiwon. Junhoe spread his leg and positioned his ass near Jiwon’s dick. Jiwon placed his hand at the back of Junhoe’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. As Junhoe hungrily kissed Jiwon, Jiwon inch by inch guided his dick into Junhoe. Junhoe moaned into his mouth and Jiwon could not stop his eyes from rolling back. 

Jiwon placed his hand on Junhoe’s side for grip as Junhoe rode his dick. “I see you are purposely angling my dick to your prostate. You are so rude” Jiwon observed Junhoe’s delirium as Junhoe moved his hip slowly. Junhoe kept moaning Jiwon’s name as he hit his prostate against Jiwon’s dick. Jiwon dropped his hand by his side and relaxed into his seat as he admired this adonis in his lap.

Jiwon rubbed his own nipple further, arousing himself speeding up the urge to cum. “I am going to let go of your hands and I want to see you play with your dick till you come as you ride me. Can you do that?” Junhoe nodded enthusiastically without saying anything. Jiwon knew Junhoe was close to finishing. Jiwon tugged on the tie and Let go of his beloved beautiful hands.

Junhoe’s hand immediately went to his dick and he rubbed them matching the speed of him riding Jiwon. “Jiwon my nipples please”

Jiwon knew what Junhoe needed and leaned in and started to lick his nipple and used his finger to play with the other. Junhoe body stiffened then shivered as he came. His body rested against Jiwon as he took deep breaths.

“Who told you to rest?” Jiwon carried Junhoe out of the seat and bent him over the desk again. Jiwon penetrated Junhoe and pounded him hard. “Jiwon, i am still sensitive but it is so ughh” Junhoe could not even finish his sentence as Jiwon continued to fuck him hard. 

“Junhoe, I am cumming in your mouth” Jiwon pulled his dick out, turned Junhoe around and placed his dick in Junhoe’s warm mouth. Jiwon let go of his dick as he released himself in his husband’s mouth. As the warm liquid trickled down Junhoe’s mouth, Junhoe cleaned Jiwon’s dick by licking up every single drop.

Jiwon collapsed back in his chair and Junhoe laid down on the table to rest.

“So what was i saying just now? Oh yeah, I love you Junhoe. So we will work things out one day at a time okay?”

Junhoe was amused by the sudden change of attitude and laughed out loud. “Seriously??”

“Seriously Junhoe? Sound proof room?”

“Seriously Jiwon sex in between a serious convo?”

Jiwon opened his arms wide and Junhoe went in for a hug. “Sorry Jiwon. I am. I love you”

“I love you more”

“I know. So don’t ever leave me”

“Never”


	5. Chapter 5

Jiwon was busy on the phone speaking to his partner in Seattle when his eye caught the sight of Junhoe sitting all by himself at the dining table staring at the food patiently. Jiwon took a quick glance at the clock and he realised it was now time for dinner. The time difference only allowed the call to happen now but his husband is more important than any multi-million dollar deals. “Hey Matt, I get what you mean and let me work out the numbers. I will get the proposal done and send you a copy. Sure sure. Alright, have a great dinner, I mean lunch. Alright talk to you soon”

Jiwon washed his hands, walked over to the dining table and greeted Junhoe with a kiss. Junhoe flashed the most beautiful smile at him and Jiwon’s heart melted. “Baby, I told you a million times that it is okay to go ahead and start on dinner by yourself. I am fine eating alone. Plus I feel bad that some of my calls can really drag for a long time”. This habit of Junhoe was perplexing to Jiwon but Jiwon always assumed that it could be how Junhoe parents raised him to be. Yet whenever Jiwon headed over to Junhoe’s uncle’s home for dinner, Junhoe’s aunty had no qualms to eat without her husband present at the table, surely if it is a tradition, his uncle would practice it with his family too.

“I can definitely wait.” Junhoe said it so meekly it triggered Jiwon the wrong way. 

“Babe, there were times when we started our dinner at ten because of me. Please tell me is this tradition or is this a form of respect? I am curious. We have been married for years and it makes me feel guilty whenever we eat that late because you had to wait for me” Jiwon looked at Junhoe earnestly.

“Well, I don’t want to bog you down with my issues”

“Baby, we are going to be parents soon, heck, we are a few weeks away before Ame pops our babies out. If this is a tradition, I am okay to tweak it so you and my babies can have your meals withou--”

“Hans used to hit me if I ate before him”

Silence engulfed the dining room and Jiwon felt a tear trickled down his cheek. “Fuck. What did Hans do?” Jiwon clenched his fist so hard, his knuckles turned white

“He would hit me if I eat before or without him. Even if he is not around during lunch, I am not allowed to eat while he is at work. I have to wait for him to reach home, serve him then eat together. If I snack without him, I have to make sure he never finds out” Junhoe took a pause while hanging his head low. Talking about Hans always brings an inexplicable amount of pain regardless of how much time has passed. “I was also not allowed to leave the dinner table before him, nor allowed to eat if he is already finished. He hates it and he will call me vile names if I continued eating once he is done”

Junhoe knew Jiwon meant well for asking, Junhoe is also well aware that Dr Song told him to learn on his own time that Jiwon is not Hans and he will not be harmed. Yet Junhoe was still shouldering the weight of his own baggage. Junhoe was genuinely happy with Jiwon, but a scar like that? It will take a while before Junhoe can genuinely not have fleeting thoughts of it. 

Jiwon approached Junhoe slowly and hugged him tight. “I am genuinely sorry you went through that. I am and I promise I will never allow you to ever feel pain with me.”

There were times Junhoe felt numb whenever Jiwon apologized to him. Not because he didn't trust Jiwon, it was because he was afraid. Junhoe feared that he made Jiwon miserable with his occasional meltdowns or trips down nightmare lane. Junhoe managed to smile and looked up at Jiwon who was towering over him as he remained seated. “Jiwon ah, when the babies come, do you think we will be happier? Do you think I will be better?”

“What did Dr Song say?” Jiwon retreated to his seat while waiting for Junhoe to open up. Junhoe does not share all the details of his discussions with Dr Song, but when he does, Jiwon made sure to take note and apply it to their relationship.

“The babies would be a great form of distraction. I might be fully into moulding them, parenting them and I might not even remember him. It is something I did not share with Hans so the old memories cannot associate the babies in it and it might help me create new patterns and lay new memory maps.”

“I get it. With me, your mind might still be triggered since you also lived with him before. So your mind plays tricks on you between present and past. But with the babies, it won’t be possible since you did not build a family with him.” Jiwon was pleased and more excited for the twins arrival now. Anything to help Junhoe. Anything.

Their conversation was interrupted as Ame waddled into the dining room. “Sorry, was I interrupting your dinner?”

“Have dinner with us please.” Jiwon invited their surrogate to join them. 

“Sure”. Ame was an inspiring novelist who needs money since she has yet to land a job ever since she graduated. The surrogacy gig could help her with her student loan and maybe a year or two of survival. The Kims offered her a job as well in case she still cannot clinch a job but she was still considering it. Her biggest fear was to be too attached to the twins and working for them would just make it weird. 

Junhoe looked at Jiwon across the table with a gaze filled with love and Jiwon knew exactly what Junhoe was thinking at that exact moment.

“Never” Jiwon mouthed and Junhoe finally smiled.

* * *

Junhoe and Jiwon was cuddling like any other nights when he heard voice banging on their bedroom door. “Sirs, Sirs wake up!!” while the door was continuously being banged. Jiwon being a light sleeper leapt out of bed to see what was the commotion about albeit annoyed his sleep was interrupted.

“This better be urgent, if not…”

“Miss Ame water broke, we already called the ambulance but you said this is the utmost important thing to inform—”

Jiwon sprung into action before his butler even ended his sentence. He shook Junhoe gently but with enough force to wake the sleepyhead, “Baby wake up, the babies are coming!! Baby wake up”

Junhoe was not sure if he was still in dreamland or in reality but Jiwon looks scrumptious. “Hey Daddy, you look yummy. You want to make your Baby cum?”

Jiwon rolled his eyes at Junhoe. “Junhoe, the babies, BABIES are coming. Ame is giving birth, it was not an invite to have sex. Baby wake up!!”

Junhoe bolted upright when he heard Ame was giving birth. The day they have been waiting for has finally arrived. He was going to be a Dad!! Junhoe was still rooted to the bed in shock while Jiwon was already in Ame’s room fussing over her.

Junhoe kneeled in bed and started to pray. “Dear God, I NEVER ask you for anything. Even when I lost my parents, when I went through hell on earth with Hans and even when I found out about Yejin, but today will be the first time I am going to ask something from you. Make sure Ame’s journey giving birth to my children a smooth and as painless as can be. Bless Ame with your mercy, place Ame within the highest levels of Heaven. Amen.” Junhoe then walked over to Ame’s room to give her a hug but it seems Ame was in distraught, not allowing anyone to come near her.

“Ame, hwaiting. I want to give you a hug. May I?” Junhoe tried again

“If you can have the contractions on my behalf, you can hug me all you want but right now, I am in so much pain and if you even come near me, I will kill you” Ame grunted so menacingly Junhoe was taken aback. Where did the sweet lady disappear to?

“Trust me, I went through the same thing when I was giving birth, it was as though I was possessed. Don’t be offended, she is in pain and she will be back to normal once the babies pop out” one of their kitchen staff assured Junhoe.

“But Ahjumma, her due date is next week and we already set the date for the C-sect what happened?” Junhoe was not sure how to react to the whole situation. Why would the baby come out early? Was Ame in danger?

“Maybe the babies are excited to meet you Sir”

Junhoe wanted to continue the conversation but he was shoved by the paramedics rushing into the room. They strapped Ame with some devices to monitor her condition and Junhoe and Jiwon was helplessly witnessing the paramedics slowly wheeling Ame into the ambulance. “So, who will be accompanying her to the hospital?”

“Baby you go and accompany Ame, I will drive over shortly. Go, she needs you” Jiwon knew Ame and Junhoe forged a close bond over the past nine months and she definitely would prefer Junhoe over Jiwon in the ambulance ride.

“Are you sure?” as excited Junhoe was, he did not want to be separated from his husband during this monumental moment.

“Go, I already alerted the Gynae that Ame is on the way and she should be at the hospital soon. I will bring along a change of clothes for you and I think for Ame, we will just buy whatever she and the babies needs at the hospital. Don’t worry, I am tailing you from the back.” Jiwon kissed Junhoe and Junhoe immediately boarded the back of the ambulance.

“Hi Ame. I will be with you.” Junhoe pats her shoulder and grabbed her hands in his.

“I am sorry I snapped at you but it is so painful, I think I ~ _ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_ ~ Junhoe’s hand was squeezed so hard he squirmed in his seat. _How the heck did this small lady had so much energy to squeeze that hard?_ Junhoe bit his lips and tried to be respectful as his pain could not be compared to Ame’s.

“Junhoe, I am sorry. Did I hurt you?” Ame was losing it, at that moment she thought of her parents, her mum especially. “Junhoe I miss my mum. I need her”

“Do you want me to call her?”

“No, she would keel over if she finds out I am pregnant for money. I want to say sorry to her, I am such a bad daughter.” Ame was now sobbing uncontrollably

“No, you are not, you are a wonderful woman, so selfless, smart and you are doing a great deed for me and Jiwon and –” Junhoe could not end his sentence as Ame dug her nails into Junhoe’s muscular arms. Junhoe closed his eyes and controlled his screams from escaping his lips. _God, are we near the hospital yet??? Is this why Jiwon made me ride the ambulance??_

“We will be reaching the hospital in five minutes”

It was as though the ambulance driver knew exactly what Junhoe was thinking of. _God, please let tonight be a short one. I need Jiwon now._


	6. Chapter 6

Ame was a super trooper. From the arrival to the birth, she was still trying her best to put on her best smile. Jiwon and Junhoe knew it was her trying to reassure them that she was okay. The moment, Jiwon and Junhoe held each baby in their arms, they realised no amount of money could ever be enough to compensate Ame for the gift she bestowed upon them.

While Ame rest, Jiwon and Junhoe continued to cradle the babies, cooing them throughout the night. When the nurses took the twins away, Jiwon and Junhoe felt a void in their heart. The void was so immense that they felt as though their hearts were ripped out.

Eventually exhaustion took over and the Daddies felt asleep on the arm chairs in the suite.

Early morning came and the babies were brought in to be nursed and only Junhoe woke up to the babies’ gentle cries. He quickly went over to assist and also to coo them so they won’t wake Jiwon up. Junhoe witness Ame nursing the babies and Junhoe almost cried in envy. How he wishes he could be the one nursing them, but he is eternally grateful to Ame for breastfeeding his children.

Junhoe decided to leave Ame to her feeding and Jiwon to his nap. Junhoe took his wallet and decided to head to the food court to get some breakfast for Jiwon. He knew food will be provided for Ame but Jiwon has yet to have a morsel of food since last night

Junhoe walked pass a store selling educational toys, baby clothing that tugged Junhoe’s heart, a fast food outlet and a café selling French pastries. Junhoe walked right in to grab some Chicken Mayo croissant for Jiwon, a tuna baguette for himself and maybe some peach pastries for Ame. He looked around and took in the sight of husbands accompanying their pregnant wife, mummy pushing their baby in prams and little toddlers running around. Then he caught sight of him. No can’t be. Why would he be here. Out of all days in his life, why would he be here, today, the happiest day of Junhoe’s life?

Junhoe swore it was his mind playing tricks on him. He has yet to have a proper night rest and yes, it is just a mind trick. Junhoe convinced himself it was just fatigue. Junhoe collected his order, paid for it and left the café to head back to his family.

“Hi Junhoe”

That voice was like glass shards cutting through Junhoe’s skin. It hurts to even think about it. Junhoe stopped in his track and stood still, immobile as though he was hypnotised to do so. He came up to Junhoe and stood right in front of Junhoe, his menacing smile did not change through the years. “Aigoo, IT IS JUNHOE. HI!!!!”

He was purposely taunting Junhoe knowing fully well how to trigger Junhoe’s insecurities.

“Hello Hans”

“What are you even doing here Junhoe? Did you marry some unsuspecting lady and got her pregnant?” Hans mocked Junhoe

Junhoe could not response at all. Cat got his tongue and he hated how he was behaving right now.

“Wait, that cannot be right. You are now Mr KIM Junhoe. Amazing how a whore like you was able to get Kim Jiwon trapped in your useless life. Did you play a damsel in distress role to gain his sympathy?”

Junhoe stood frozen wondering how did Hans knew of Jiwon. Fuck! “What do you want Hans?”

“I don’t know, maybe share with me Jiwon fetishes and kinks. Maybe I can try to steal him away from you. Maybe I can tell him my version of the truth of you. It is not fair Junhoe. How can you live this wonderful life without me? Did you forget about me Junhoe?”

“How do you know Jiwon?” Junhoe clenched his fist so hard his knuckles went white

“You were posing on the cover of the fucking magazine with Jiwon. **‘Kim Jiwon and his husband’** was printed across the cover and you are asking me how I knew about you? You know Junhoe, I tried finding you, tried contacting you, but you piece of shit, disappeared into thin air. I even contacted the editor of the magazine but apparently, Kim Junhoe do not have any contact number. I have to go through your husband to reach you. Where would the fun be if I called him directly. I cannot see you squirm my beautiful angel”

“What do you want Hans?”

“Nothing, maybe 10 million won per week? To shut my mouth?”

“What? Shut your mouth? What?” Junhoe was fuming mad but he did not wish to make a scene. It was already weird enough two man, in the middle of the hospital lobby were talking to each other in hush tones.

“You see Junhoe, while we were together, I could not resist taking pictures of you, clothed, naked, sexual and even when you were abused. I kept all that. What if, I leaked a picture every week. Trust me, I can easily cover 3 years’ worth of weekly tabloids with all the pics I have. Wait. Did I also mention the videos?” Hans let out a throaty laugh feeling so pleased with himself. “So Junhoe Baby, are you going to be the downfall to Jiwon, or are you going to quietly leave him. It is not fair to see you so happy while I am rolling in poverty you see.”

“What?”

“If you choose to stay with Jiwon, I will need 10 million won a week. Not a day late. Every Monday, it needs to be deposited in my account. But if you choose to leave him and live in poverty like me, I promise I will leave Jiwon alone. you get what I am trying to say?”

“What do you get out of this? Tell me! How long are you going to think you are in control of my life”

“WOW, is this Junhoe fighting back? I am amazed. Look. It is simple. You were meant to be mine. We were supposed to get married. But you married someone else”

“You left me you mother fucker”

“Language Junhoe. Tsk tsk. So many kids around. Who said I left you? You assumed so.”

“After taking all of my money and leaving my home, you dare say you were still intending to marry me?”

“Yes Junhoe, but you married someone else. On OUR wedding day. Do you know how heartbroken I was?” Hans pouted his lips and put on a face so sinister Junhoe wished he could annihilate him there and then. “So, choose. This is my name card, and I want your answer by tonight. Oh yes, I forgot to answer your question, I am here because I knocked up some lady. More reasons why I need money. Junhoe please think of my unborn child. I pity her that she will be born to poverty. Then again, you could relate right? You were filthy poor growing up” Hans walked away laughing like a villain that he is.

Junhoe took a seat on a bench and tried to process what just happened. Was that a nightmare that he could not wake up from or was it just an illusion? He don’t recall any cameras taking pictures of him in any form or way. In fact, he remembered he was annoyed Hans never displayed Junhoe pictures either as a wallpaper or even his contact details. What photos was he talking about? _Is this the end between me and Jiwon? Jiwon did so many wonderful things for me, I cannot drag his name through the mud. I have not even named my babies yet. What should I do? Should I write a goodbye letter? God help me please? Was Jiwon just love you borrowed to me for a short while? What about my babies? I did not even kiss them goodbye yet. How will they grow up without knowing me? What should I do?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much IF you waited for the last chapter. Life has been crazy and i did not want to write a half assed ending to the series.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case the letter image disappear, you may read it at https://twitter.com/kimjunhoe9597/status/1313693340047601664?s=20

Junhoe carefully wrote his letter trying his best not to stain it with his tears. He then folded it and tuck it in his jacket. He considered placing it on their matrimonial bed, but he wants to hold on to it a bit longer. He cannot believe he said his last goodbye to his husband and babies an hour ago. Under the pretence of getting them a clean set of clothing, Junhoe left the hospital to head home to pack his luggage.

Junhoe sat at the corner of their bed as he stared at the photo of the four of them in his photo gallery shedding tears of remorse; if only he has been a better man, if only he did not get his fate entangled with Hans. So many ifs yet the only clear answer was Junhoe is a loser.

The room where he shared so many beautiful memories with Jiwon now felt like quicksand. It was hard to explain, but he felt that if he didn’t leave immediately, he could never do so on his own will. He knew he would buckle under the memories they had shared. So many beautiful memories with such a wonderful husband.

How did this happen, how could his past have caught on? The vile look in Hans eyes meant that Hans was not joking and might have probably been planning this for the longest time. _Stupid stupid stupid, why did you agree to be photographed together with Jiwon, you selfish bastard. Now you have jeopardised Jiwon’s career with your fucked-up past. Selfish asshole. If only you stayed in the shadow like how you deserved to._ Junhoe repeatedly banged his forehead against the wall as he chided himself for his selfishness. _You don’t deserve to be sad. You should have just died by the river. If you died then, Jiwon would be happy now without any worries, with the twins and a deserving husband that will reciprocate Jiwon’s love. Why didn’t you die then?_

Junhoe fell onto his knees realizing what his fate was all along. He was just a stumbling block for everyone he knew. His parents, his friends, his husband and now his babies. He needs to leave immediately before he does something stupid in their master bedroom.

~

Jiwon carried his daughter in his arm looking down at her tenderly. “Princess, your Daddy and I will love you so much. You will grow up with so much love, no other man or woman will be able to wiggle their way into your heart.”

Ame giggled at the sight. “Are you sure? Then you wish for your Princess to never be married and enjoy the love like you share with Junhoe?” As she speaks, their son squirmed in her arm as she nursed him.

“Don’t paint such a scary scenario in my mind. I cannot imagine them leaving us. And look at how precious she is. Aigoo”

“You said the same exact thing to your son just now!!” Ame tried to hold back her laughter but her body betrayed her as she vibrated in glee.

“Ame, will they leave the nest so soon?”

“Jiwon-ssi, they are not even two days old. Worry about that in thirty years’ time. Now just treasure every second you have with your babies with Junhoe. By the way, where is he? Do you think he fell asleep at home?”

“Let him be, I guess he must be exhausted. I am not even surprise if that proves to be true”

~

As he slowly makes his way out, Junhoe head hung low thinking of all the twins’ milestones he would miss. Their first step, their first words, the first time they will call him Daddy…. Junhoe sobbed loudly as he sat in his car. He rested his weary head on the wheel and let his sobs take over. He never cried this hard before; even when Hans dumped him and ran off with his savings. This time around, it was different. It was him choosing to break the heart of three beautiful souls

Junhoe drove off aimlessly with the intent to head somewhere neither Hans nor Jiwon could find him. He knew the State was out, as Jiwon’s contact was extensive there. Singapore? No, Jiwon heads there for work too. New Zealand? To meet up with his cousin Rose. But she will tell his family he is there. Junhoe’s mind was racing just as he was. He was driving like a maniac without him even realizing. Junhoe was even contemplating North Korea as he knew that would be the only place Jiwon will not be able to reach him. _Seriously Junhoe? Jokes even now._ He did not think of his plan thoroughly. He has yet to withdraw cash and he knew swiping his credit card would just be leaving breadcrumbs for Jiwon to look for him

The Patek Philippe on his wrist could reach a high price but that was a gift Jiwon gave him when he started counselling. It was Jiwon’s (expensive) way of telling him time will heal all wounds. So not the watch. Then he realised, almost everything on him, those in the luggage and even the Aston Martin he is driving, were generous gifts from his loving husband. _Fuck I cannot sell Jiwon’s gifts. What the fuck is wrong with you Junhoe?!_

 _Ok, we will just withdraw a huge chunk of cash, park the car near the bank and grab a taxi to somewhere else. That will work right? Yes, that will be a better idea. Car would be returned to Jiwon and I could just rent or hitch from one city to the next. Yes, yes! That will work._ Junhoe finally calm himself down with his not well thought out ideas. He seems to forget Seoul has CCTV at every corner and even his mobile phone could easily be tracked. But he was just desperate to leave the life Jiwon and him lovingly built for years.

With one hand searching the web for the nearest bank, the other hand steered on down the expressway. Junhoe’s attention was divided between the screen and the road as he busily searches for the most discreet Bank of Korea. _Time is ticking Junhoe, Hans might be closing in on Jiwon_ kept boring his thoughts as he was making the most ridiculous decision of which bank to withdraw money from.

The next thing Junhoe could remember was a loud blast from an air horn, a truck driver warning him of the barrier put up for lane closure. Junhoe jolted in his seat and instinctively swerved his car and slam the brakes hard. His car barely hit the traffic cones, but it activated the air bags. As the air bag inflated to greet his face, Junhoe could feel the tension of his seat belt on his chest pulling him back to the safety of his seat. He stayed still for a bit crying in shock.

“Hello!! Are you okay? What the fuck are you doing playing with your phone on the expressway!! You don’t want to live but I want to go home to my wife and kids!! Fuck!!”

Junhoe could hear the driver cursing him but he was too flabbergasted to even lift his head.

“Are you okay??? Are you okay??”

Junhoe slowly lift his head with his throbbing neck and bowed his head. “Sorry. I think I am okay.”

“Don’t do it again!! You are lucky there’s not much traffic at this hour. You need help?” Junhoe shook his head slowly and the driver walked away. Junhoe could hear the burly driver continuing to hurl curse words at him as he sat back in his seat. His head was now throbbing with the combination of the whiplash and passing cars honking their horn at him. The only thing that he could remember was the vivid image of Jiwon and the babies flashing through his mind and he sobbed hard.

~

“What was that?” Jiwon was startled as a glass cup shattered in to million pieces across the floor.

“I am so sorry, I was just drawing the curtains so Ms Ame could nurse the twins, the curtain got caught on the tray and the glass fell off. I am so sorry; I will call the cleaners to clear this mess” the nurse kept bowing as she exited the room and it amused Jiwon. She was flushed and her face was so red, she looked like a lobster doing a vertical situps.

“Please don’t get out of bed, stay where you are. I don’t wish for the babies or you to get a cut”

“Do you think everything is okay?” Ame eyes were wide with concern as his daughter latched on for her meal. Initially Jiwon was so awkward to witness Ame whipping out her tatas to feed the twins’ but not, it was almost second nature to him. “Folklore says that shattering glass are bad omen” 

“Seriously? You believe in old wives’ tales’ too?” Jiwon was genuinely surprised yet a sinking feeling set in his heart. He suddenly recalls how jittery his mum would be whenever his maid accidentally drops glassware or even any of the Kim’s clumsiness caused it.

“Nah… I don’t know. I am a bit superstitious though, ok let’s ignore that. Just pretend I did not say anything”

“Jiwon agreed in silence and scrolled his phone, _where is Junhoe?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, adding in one more chapter cause i felt uneasy with how i ended it


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote Chapter 7. If you have already read this before 12 Oct, skim through Chapter 7 for the changes.   
> Apologies for the confusion

As Jiwon gently lower his sleeping son in his cot, he almost dropped him when he saw Junhoe walking in with a neck brace with fat tears rolling down his cheeks. “FUCK!” Jiwon could not control his shock and his daughter cried at the exclamation. Ame signaled for Jiwon to leave the room while she fusses over his baby girl.

Jiwon hugged Junhoe and brought him out for fresh air.

“Baby, what happened? Are you okay?”

Junhoe just sat there in the garden with his body hunched forward in shame keeping his silence. He wants to protect his family yet here he is in Jiwon’s arms; at the hospital where he last saw Hans.

“Baby please say something. You should not have rushed here; you should have just slept it off and not drive if you were that sleepy. What if you…. left me”

Jiwon’s words were like knives piercing Junhoe’s heart. Junhoe was trying to leave him. “I… “Junhoe suddenly remember the letter he tucked in his pocket and handed it to Jiwon with his head hung low. He could not see Jiwon’s reaction but from his view, he could see Jiwon has stopped pacing and came to a standstill

“WHAT IS THIS?” Jiwon raised his voice and Junhoe was shocked. Never ever did Jiwon raised his voice at Junhoe and this side of Jiwon was upsetting to see. Junhoe was the cause of this sweet soul to be this ballistic. “EXPLAIN!”

“Hans” Junhoe meekly whispered out the name that was never mentioned throughout their marriage.

“What? Your Ex Hans” Jiwon hissed his name

Junhoe could only nod his head trying not to lock gaze with either Jiwon or any of the bystanders whom were all staring at them. Unsuspecting patients and their visiting family members sitting in the garden stole glance at Jiwon with hushed accusations. It must have shocked them as well to suddenly see two men arguing in the hospital grounds. “Excuse me, this is a hospital, please lower your voice down or just leave. We have sick people here”

Jiwon could not hear anything as his rage and confusion took over. Junhoe tugged on his shirt but Jiwon was numbed to it. There was a buzzing sound in his ears, and he could not make sense of what is happening. Which was worst? Junhoe was in an accident almost leaving him for the afterlife or Junhoe trying to leave him on his own will. Either way, Junhoe was going to leave him.

Jiwon mindlessly bowed his head to the other bystanders as an apology and left the garden with defeated steps leaving bewildered Junhoe behind.

~

Jiwon and Junhoe’s family joined them in the room to visit Ame and the babies. As they took turns with the babies, Jiwon and Junhoe sat on separate side of the room having polite conversations with their guest. Junhoe tried to make eye contact with Jiwon but failed. It was the same pair of eyes that always looked in Junhoe’s adoringly but today it seems so emotionless. So, pained. Thankfully their family members filled the void while they were there.

Junhoe took a seat by Ame, someone he bonded with for the past nine months and she took his hand in hers. Not asking him anything yet all knowing. He suppressed his tears as he leaned his head on her shoulder. “Talk to Jiwon. He is in shock. You are such a silly boy. How can you be a Daddy if you are going to run away every time shit hits the ceiling”?

“How did you know? I tried to …” Junhoe could not complete his sentence. He was too ashamed.

“I don’t but I guess that is the only thing that must have had happened. You left us for too long. Jiwon may have not noticed it but I did. Motherly instinct?” Their conversation was interrupted by Ye Jin.

“Junhoe, you are so lucky. The babies are so beautiful. I am speechless” Ye Jin approached him and hugged him tight. “You are a father now. I cannot believe this.”

“Thank you Noona, without you, this could not happen too”

“I have no regrets. Looking at how perfect they are, I will do it again and again for you and Jiwon” she gushed proudly. “Anyway, we are leaving now. Ame, you and Jiwon need to rest. I still can’t believe you met with an accident. Aigoo, day one of being a father and this happened. Take care baby brother”

Junhoe hugged his sister so tight when he realized, he almost left her too. “I love you Noona”

~

The pain in Jiwon’s heart was unfathomable. He did not know it he felt betrayed, a sense of loss or anger. His head was trying to wrap around the idea of Junhoe’s bastard of an ex approaching his husband in broad daylight, the thought of almost losing his husband and babies daddy in a vehicular accident or the fact Junhoe could not even trust Jiwon to handle this issue together.

As their guest lingered around, Jiwon answered generic questions without much thought. “How do you feel?” “What are their names”? “What will the baby call you?” “Do you need anything? Any gifts?’ “How was the labour? Who was in the room with Ame?” “Oh, the boy looked like Jiwon, and the girl have Junhoe’s features”

The same questions and remarks were asked repeatedly. Jiwon stole a glance at Junhoe and he felt his chest tightened again. The audacity of the asshole to blackmail his husband when he was in the same building when it happened. Jiwon was also blaming himself for allowing Junhoe to leave his sight yet he knew he could not have left Ame alone too. That poor lady just gave birth to their precious heirs and Junhoe was an adult, capable to handle his way around the hospital grounds.

Yet Jiwon could see there was still fear and uncertainty in Junhoe’s eyes. THAT, broke Jiwon’s heart tremendously. It was obvious Junhoe was still haunted by the ghost of his past. How could a man of Junhoe’s size not just clobbered Hans when he was being cornered with Hans’ ridiculous demands, when Junhoe is now practicing Jujitsu. That only meant one thing, Junhoe still feels small and hopeless when faced with his own demons 

~

The room was now filled with a deafening silence occasionally interrupted by the babies gurgling or cooing in turns. Ame was already asleep and Junhoe finally mustered up enough courage to approach Jiwon. “I am sorry” Junhoe whispered. “I don’t know what else to say but I am really sorry”

Jiwon was dead silent after Junhoe told Jiwon of the day’s events and it worried him. He doesn’t recognize the look in Jiwon’s eyes. He has never seen this glare before. He recognizes the resoluteness when Jiwon wants to close a business deal. He recognizes the firmness when he is telling his staff off. But this? It is low key scaring Junhoe. It was alarming to Junhoe that Jiwon, the sweet Jiwon has this side in him. What if Jiwon turns and becomes someone Junhoe fears, what if—Before Junhoe could complete his thoughts, Jiwon suddenly stood up, took his handphone along with him and left the room. Junhoe stayed in his spot hoping Jiwon would forgive him. He wants to cry out loud so bad but the assuring look from Ame, comforted him. Even if this ends tonight, he had only sweet and amazing memories with Jiwon

~

Jiwon left the room and immediately called his lawyer. “Yang-ssi? We need to talk. Regarding my husband’s case? Yeah. It is time” Jiwon returned to the room and peeked through the small opening and just as he guessed, Junhoe was sound asleep.

Jiwon crept up towards Junhoe making sure not to wake him up. He unfolded the letter Junhoe gave him in the garden and his hands trembled in fear. He almost lost Junhoe. Again. When he found Junhoe, it was an unfortunate event that tied their fates together. It took him a long while to make sure Junhoe was genuinely happy and was no longer had depressive bouts of suicidal tendencies.

Now they were at a stage where Junhoe no longer dwells in his past, happy with his present and looks forward to a better future as a parent. How dare Hans set Junhoe back in time. A part of Jiwon admire Junhoe’s guts to leave his happiness to protect his own family. Yet it was borderline selfish of him to leave his them without any explanation. Junhoe was and is a gentle soul. In the wrong hands, it would shatter easily, and it is Jiwon’s responsibility to never even allow a possibility of that happening.

~

Junhoe woke up to breakfast and a set of his neatly pressed clothes hanging in the corner. That was the suit he planned to wear for Ame’s discharge. His choice of wardrobe for today was a blue blazer with a pink silk shirt. Jiwon and Junhoe foresee the press would be swarming at the lobby once the birth of the twins leaked. Junhoe never seems to understand the fascination with the press obsession with celebrities and chaebols lives. They bleed red too but that don’t seem to matter if they can sell their tabloids.

Ame smiled at him as she graciously bit on her finger sandwiches. The perks of being a surrogate to Kim Jiwon babies. Her robe was cashmere, her bed sheets was a 1500 thread count Egyptian cotton and her food prepared by the chef for the executive suites. She was fussed over, and she admittedly told Junhoe she did not mind her sore privates if the amazing treatments continued. Junhoe laughed along and knew Ame was masking her labour and gorging chest pains with jokes. Jiwon was neither in the suite nor the bathroom. Junhoe walked towards the door and could hear Jiwon conversing with another man. _Who was that? HANS??!! NO!_ Junhoe panicked and swung the door open to Jiwon and a gentleman Junhoe have never seen before. Junhoe stepped out and greeted both.

“Good Morning Baby” Jiwon cheerfully greeted Junhoe as though yesterday did not happen.

“Good Morning.” Junhoe greeted the two gentlemen with a polite bow. “I am Koo Junhoe, Kim Jiwon’s partner.” Junhoe had no intention to mask the confusion on his face

“This is Inspector Kwon from Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency. We are just discussing an official matter. Get back in and have your breakfast. I will be done soon” Jiwon assured Junhoe.

Junhoe went back in a befuddled state. _Did I kill someone? Did Jiwon kill someone? Is Ame a fraudster and was she involved in multiples kidnapping schemes? But the police officer was smiling at Jiwon. Was he flirting with Jiwon?_

Just as Jiwon promised, Jiwon came in shortly and kissed Junhoe on his cheeks. And sighed with relief. “Don’t you think today is an amazing day to step out to be proud fathers to our twins? I can just imagine the press eating their hearts out when the four of us step out into the open”

“W-w-what was that about?” Junhoe then gasped “Did I kill someone yesterday???!!!”

Jiwon giggled at his husband’s bewilderment. “No silly. It was about Hans. Or Mr Im Chae Jee. The lowlife who dared to blackmail my husband”

“Chae Jee? That is his real name?? Wow? I am not aware. Our time together was just a masquerade. I am ashamed I was that naïve.”

“You did not know?”

Junhoe shook his head shocked at the revelation. His blood boiling in anger realizing not a single element of his relationship with Hans, wait… with Chae Jee was true. He was just a victim from the start

“I hired someone to look into him ever since we met and interestingly, he has been committing so many different love-scams it was easy to create a case against him over the years. I did not plan to ever use it, but that shithead deserves it.”

“Will I have to testify? I Don’t wish to. It will be too embarrassing and what if your family finds out their son in-law was just so stupid?”

“No darling, I purposely omit out that one victim. I knew if I ever use this against him, I myself do not wish for you to testify. It is not about me or my reputation, it is for your peace of mind. I did not want you to stand in front of a roomful of strangers judging you silently as you give your statement as a victim. I did not want others to look at you with that pitiful look. BUT if you wish to add in your case, it is in a separate file and I will respect your decision regardless”

Junhoe stared at Jiwon in admiration. THIS is what you call a man. Someone with a plan, evidence and foresight to settle a problem. Unlike him who always choose to run away from one. “Why would I do without you? I only tried to take the easy way out and I almost lose my family when he blackmailed me”

“Officer Kwon and I are confident he will be behind bars for a long time and the ghost from your past will never haunt you ever again. If you are mine, I will make sure no one can ruin what we have.”

“I always fear that my past might expose you to the possibility of being harmed”

“No way. You must remember you are married to me. THE Kim Jiwon.” Jiwon laughed shyly. It was a term he never used before with his husband. “To you I am your husband, but I have a legal team behind me that can be lethal to any threat in my professional and personal life. So please Junhoe, if ever you feel threatened, tell me. My legal team is at your dispose too”

Junhoe just nodded and allowed Jiwon to envelope him in a hug he desperately needed since yesterday. “I promise I will never leave you and the babies again for any stupid reason. When my car crashed yesterday, the only thing I could think of was the three of you and how selfish I was.”

“You bet your ass you won’t. I am going to surgically implant a tracking device in you so I can find you no matter how far you go”

“What??”

“Just kidding. By the way, what happened to the car? How bad is it?”

Junhoe gasped at the question. “The most important thing is I am safe right. Right? We can always get a new car. I mean didn’t you just say you are THE Kim Jiwon”

“So you are making fun of me now?" Jiwon and Junhoe engaged in a banter of wits when Ame suddenly piped in.

“Hush you guys the babies are sleeping!” Ame shushed them out

Junhoe cheekily ask Jiwon, “What are you going to do about HER?”

“Ame? Why? What did she do wrong?”

“I CAN HEAR YOU!” Ame teased

Junhoe laughed along as he looks at his family. Jiwon, Hye Jin, Ji Hun and even Ame. They are whom he is living his life for and whom he would lay his life down for. He swore he would never compromise what they have ever again. What he assumed was temporary, was totally not true, Jiwon’s love, this small family of theirs, it was never a borrowed love for him. It was his to own, all along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope i did justice to the series. Thank you readers, bowing out now.


End file.
